Varmint in the house

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dennis richardson

Most of us have all had an experience of a varmint that is typically outside the house finds its way inside. Whether it climbs the wall and comes in through an open door or somehow works its way through the duct work … there it is!

Sunday morning had me lifting the sofa, raising the rug and checking under tables. I saw it Saturday during the UT-Georgia State fiasco and told myself that I’d round it up during the break.

When the third quarter ended the critter had disappeared. I was the only one at home and it didn’t look that threatening so I didn’t worry.

Sunday morning I heard a loud “EEK” from Lisa. She found it. “I stepped on something,” she said, “and it moved!”.

The baby lizard ran under the sofa which led to me tilting it back while she peeked under it. Now this sofa is not a light piece of furniture and by the time I had it tilted the little slivery reptile had moved on to another hiding place.

When all was quiet late Sunday night I kept guard hoping that it would appear again and I could do the manly thing and scoop it up and toss it out the back door.

It was nowhere to be found but was probably around some nook watching me. I thought about asking Alexa. After all, she seems to know a lot more than I am comfortable with.

It came back out during Monday morning coffee and wedged itself between the rug and the hearth. The dust pan was already out “just in case” so it was an easy grab. I deftly scooted it up to the little thing and it miraculously climbed aboard.

Off to the back door I went hoping that it would not leap out of the pan and tear away to some other hiding place. But no, it stayed right there. It seemed to smile. I tossed it off the deck and it scampered away.

In my younger years I would have probably put an end to it but now that I’m older I somehow have compassion on God’s creatures. I sent him back to where I think he came from.

The house is peaceful again… until this happens again.

True story. And I am sticking to it.

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